


Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club

by chubsTheGreat



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Hanahaki Disease, I'm really sorry!, M/M, why do i keep killing yongguk???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 10:46:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13269828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chubsTheGreat/pseuds/chubsTheGreat
Summary: All that I live for makes me die





	Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club

Yongguk had always liked the colour purple, but staring down at the lilac petals staining his hands, he was less fond of it. As his eyes struggled to comprehend what he was seeing, another petal slipped from between his lips to join its fallen comrades, as if reminding him of what he was trying not to believe. Stumbling to his feet, he grabbed his phone and desperately searched, hoping to find something, anything, that would deny his suspicions. But alas! No matter how far he scrolled with shaking fingers and a trembling heart, the words 'Hanahaki Disease' would not leave him alone.

Letting out a numb laugh, he released a shaky breath, as he sank onto the floor of his empty apartment. How ironic, that he, Bang Yongguk, should be overcome by this. He could hear Himchan's playful tone already, laughing goodnaturedly as he slings an arm over Yongguk's shoulder and tells him, 'I always knew you were a romantic!'

Oh well. At least he lived alone; being in the dorm would have made it too difficult to hide. As it was, he could probably manage to keep the others in the dark for a while. Just while he tried to figure out a cure. Or... Y'know... Anything really.

.

Yongguk had taken the precaution to wear a mask today, so that the fans wouldn't see anything. They had had a fansign today, the first event since his discovery last night, and other than the mask, he had shoved any thought of it to the back of his mind. Only when they were headed home did he allow himself to close his eyes, the others a little concerned but brushing it off due to his 'cold'. Only one set of eyes kept returning to his, wishing desperately to know the other was okay. However, Yongguk managed to get home without much suspicion, and as he pulled open the door to be greeted with silence, he collapsed onto his floor. Letting the cool surface caress his cheek, he allowed his thoughts to wander, and they sprang around his head, before landing none too gently on a face.

Sighing to himself, Yongguk permitted his mind to join up the dots, the conclusion hitting him at the speed of light. Hanahaki disease... sprung from an unrequited love... The increasingly tense relationship between him and Himchan... Suddenly, a great deal of things were beginning to make sense.

For some time, he had been aware of a shift, a rift, between his best friend and him. Unable to give it a name (he never believed in labels and stereotypes anyway), he simply boxed it away and willed the easygoing relationship between them to return. These flowers signified something different. Yongguk tried to keep thinking, but he was overcome by a fit of coughing. By the time he had finished wrenching his lungs from his chest, his lap was covered with a flurry of purple petals. A sad smile danced around his face as he began to clean himself up.

.

A few weeks had passed, and Yongguk had begun to make sure that he was always carrying a plastic bag and a mask. Just to make sure. His search for a cure so far had been... Well. Fruitless. But he was determined not to give in yet, so he continued to act as if nothing was wrong, even if he did collapse every night as soon as he walked through his door. But it was fine. It would be fine. He would be fine.

.

Several months later, Yongguk was beginning to resign himself to the fact that there was nothing to be done. He could do nothing but pretend; and so that was what he did.

Aware that something was clearly not right with Yongguk, Himchan stood back and waited for Yongguk to be able to tell him himself. However, it became clear that Yongguk had no intention of doing that, and Himchan grew angry. Stopping him after practise one day, he couldn't hold back.  
"What's going on with you? Why won't you talk to me?" He continued on his tirade on a similar vein for several minutes, but Yongguk grew too tired to listen. He simply smiled listlessly, as had now become habit. Upon seeing this, Himchan faltered and his face dropped. "You aren't well, Bbang. Come back to the dorm. J-just - Just for tonight. And we'll make you feel better." He trailed off towards the end of his speech, clearly nervous.  
"Chan." Yongguk was suddenly assertive and alert, and he held Himchan's gaze with a ferocity that had been slowing ebbing away. "I'll be fine. I just need a rest and some quiet, and then I'll be fine."  
Himchan was silent, and said nothing. Yongguk opened his mouth to say goodbye, and instead Himchan was showered with violet petals. Eyes wide as saucers, Himchan tried to reach for his friend, but Yongguk pushed his hand away and ran.

Himchan tried to follow the sound of his footsteps, but they were quickly masked by the sound of rain, and soon Himchan was forced to return. Upon reaching the others, he tried to tell them to drop him off at Yongguk's, but he obviously wasn't dealing with the shock well. His words stuttered, and he was dripping from having chased Yongguk in the rain, so Youngjae shoved him into the van and soon enough, Himchan was asleep.

Across the city, Yongguk couldn't sleep. After having run home, he had evidently caught a cold, causing the petals to block his airways. Trying desperately to breathe, he began to panic instead, and stopped breathing altogether.

The rain over Seoul still hadn't subsided the next morning, and so woke Yongguk at an ungodly hour. He lay on the floor where he had evidently fallen the night before, not moving, just being aware of his body, and his rising, falling, rising, falling chest. Lying like this for a while, he didn't realise that something else had awoken him; a knocking on the door. At least, that's what it had evidently begun as, but due to the lack of reaction, had become more frantic, and now could not be classified as knocking, but rather trying-to-break-the-door-down-ing.  
"Bbang! I'm coming in!" Himchan burst through the door, looking completely unsettled as his eyes scanned the apartment, looking for a sign of life. His eyes widened almost comically at the sight of his best friend in the corner. "Oh, Bang..."

Yongguk was a little confused, until he caught a glimpse of one, then two, then three! petals lying on his face. Casting his eyes down his body, he was greeted by a blanket of lavender over his body. Ah.  
He smiled at Himchan, who did not return the smile, but instead looked rather worried.  
"Chan, Chan, I love you!" Yongguk whispered, as if it was a secret so terrible that even now it was not safe to say it. But Yongguk was tired, tired of waiting, tired of lying; so he said it. Himchan cradled Yongguk's face in his hands, and Yongguk smiled, even as the rain over Seoul beat relentlessly down.  
"I know, I know! I love you too!" Himchan whispered with just as much tenderness, just as much intensity. That made Yongguk laugh, and his smile brightened.  
"You don't really, you wouldn't! Or I wouldn't be like this!" At this, Himchan's face became miserable, and he tried futilely to read Yongguk's. "But that's - cough - okay! I lo- cough- love you! And that's all tha-'  
Yongguk had been coughing in between his words, the flowers cutting him off completely now. They cascaded around the pair, a flutter of lilac and violet, and majestic purple. The air became so thick with them that Himchan could not see Yongguk, could not see him at all. When at last they began to clear, Himchan wiped them off Yongguk's face, as if the flowers were obscuring his vision of Yongguk's heart, and not just his face.  
"I read that they could fix me, Channie." Yongguk spoke into the silence. "They could fix me!" His face fell, almost childlishly, with his next sentence. "But I don't want them to. Not without you."  
With this, he started to cough violently, and even as the air between them clouded once more, Himchan could see that the smile never left his face. As the purples swirled around them, Himchan heard Yongguk whisper, "That wouldn't make me happy. But I'll be happy now. I'm happy now. I love you."  
Himchan felt something inside him snap, and he leant down to hug Yongguk tight, tight; so tight that he thought he might never be able to let go. Choking backs sobs, he forced out, "I love you too.", before becoming overcome with emotion and squeezing his eyes shut tight, tight; so tight that he thought he might never open them again. 

Who knows how much time passed after this. It could have been seconds, hours, days; Himchan certainly didn't know. All he knew, was that when he opened his eyes, the flowes were no longer purple. They were azure, and cobalt, and a glimmering emerald green; but not purple.

Yongguk smiled, a simple, innocent smile, and the petals rose up, shielding Himchan.

When the wall of flowers finally dropped, one by one, Himchan was left alone. Alone with the flowers. At least he had those. But, as if they could not bear to be apart from their creator, they too began to vanish. Only a handful remained, in the palm of his hand. Himchan had always liked the colour purple, but staring down at the lilac petals staining his hands, he was less fond of it.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry! hope this wasn't too bad?  
> kudos to you if you can tell me what the lyric up there^^ in the summary is from!  
> love you babyz<3


End file.
